Not 20 minutes ago, I was informed of the passing of Ralph "Big Daddy Ferguson" Gernhardt (pictured above, between BLUE BLAKE and STEVEN SCARBOROUGH). Ralph was the editor-in-chief of Gay Chicago Magazine, which I read voraciously when I lived in the Windy City. I first met Ralph right after I started Red Devil Entertainment. I was in town shooting the first movie, RED DEVIL SOLOS: CHICAGO, and arranged a lunch meeting with him. I had to postpone it when the shooting of JASON RIDGE's first solo ran over time. I showed up later that day and met this frail but fierce-looking older gentleman, wearing a baggy white tank top, and introduced myself. That first conversation was awkward, with many lulls in the conversation. I stayed about an hour before saying I should be on my way. Ralph walked me to the front of the Gay Chicago Magazine offices and asked me what my first movie would be. I told him I wanted my company to concentrate on "story" porn, and that the first movie released would be about a WWII bombardier that was in love with his pilot and was trying to stop a third atomic bomb from being dropped on Japan. Ralph and the staff within earshot chuckled, saying it sounded complicated. I told them I could do it, and I did.

The review of THE BOMBARDIER in Gay Chicago Magazine was a glowing one, and at the next Grabbys ceremony (my first in attendance), Ralph personally presented me with a special surprise Grabby for Hot New Director for my body of work that year (which included CANVAS and NASTY NASTY).

I'd see Ralph on and off. I ran into him at MICKEY'S in West Hollywood one night as he was about to embark on a gay cruise. And last year, he got ticked off at me for doing a Porn Star greeting at NATIONWIDE VIDEO without telling him. He told me that he and Gay Chicago Magazine could have helped promote the event and boosted my attendance. That was a mistake I shall always regret, and I felt that Ralph was keeping a fatherly eye over me and my career.

At this year's GayVN Awards, I saw Ralph in a wheelchair. He looked even more frail than ever. I talked to him about how successful DIRTY LITTLE SINS was, and he told me how much he had enjoyed it and thought it was one of the best films of the year. I chatted with him again briefly after the ceremony, then left, not realizing that that would be the last time I'd ever see him.

In one of the videos I'm planning, there is a character of a grandfather on his death bed keeping a terrible secret from his grandson, which he divulges to his grandson's lover. I was planning on asking Ralph to play that part when the time came to shoot it. Life, however, is ironic.

At the Cocktails with the Porn Stars party at the Gentry, I discovered that Ralph was very sick and would not be attending this year's Grabbys. I asked how his situation looked and was told "not good." The next night, after the show was over, I was told that Ralph had personally picked the Wall of Fame inductees, and that I was the last person chosen by him. To me, this was the perfect ending to the story of my friendship with Ralph, a man whom I respected for his knowledge, his humor, his charity toward others and his love of life.

Peace to you, Ralph, and to all those whose lives you touched.

JBK