After severely hurting my lower back last Saturday and spending about 12 hours on the floor in my family room (preventing me from attending the Temptation Awards), I've finally been able to start getting around again.

The first cut of MASQUE is done, and I took a screener over to BRUNO RICELLI, the producer of the film and owner of Oh Man! Studios. We had a pleasant chat until my back started acting up again, so I left and headed home.

Now, this is always the part of the video-making process that makes me nervous. When I edit a video or film, I tend to lose objectivity about it. You begin to doubt yourself: is it working? is the sex hot? does that cut make the action flow smoothly? And of course, the producers always want to know: "How's it look?" I could, of course, just lie my ass off and say, "Oh, it's freaking great!", but I, being the honest sap that I am, feel compelled to tell the truth..."I hope so. I can't be objective right now."

And that's how it works for me. It don't whack the willy-stick to my own movies for at least a year after I make them, if then. Porn has to work as a fantasy for it to work at all, and I can't lose myself in the fantasy when I watch a scene, because I remember how much I paid each guy, who got hard and who didn't, who was a dick that day, etc. When I forget all of that, I'll be able to enjoy the scene the way a slobbering horny bastard should.

Poor JEREMY SPENCER of Adonis Pictures. When I finished BONESAW, he kept asking me, "How is it?" and all I could say to him was, "I think it's good, but I'm too close to it." Not what a nail-biting producer wants to hear. "You have to have some idea!" he pressed. "Would you release it under your own label?"

I thought about that and honestly replied, "Yes, I think I would."

Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief (or typed a sigh, as we were e-mailing), "So it's good?"

"I hope so." (As it turns out, I was right. Only one review so far has been "non-positive", and there were so many mistakes in the review about the story that I had to wonder if the guy had actually seen it. SHON of Valentino's Costumes called me today, and as we were chatting, he mentioned that he had seen BONESAW and loved it, saying it was a riveting story, and the sex was hot.)

Now, as I left Bruno's place, I found myself on Santa Monica Blvd. heading for Highland Ave. to take the 101 home. I had thought about taking Crescent Heights Blvd. over the hill (a drive I really enjoy), but decided against it. Good thing, too, for as I passed the TomKat Theater (a gay porn theater in West Hollywood), I saw this:



Wow. It's one thing to go into a video store and see something you've created on a shelf. But this! To see the title on a theater marquee, even a porn theater, was inspiring (even though they incorrectly put a space between the E and the S—it's BONESAW, not BONE SAW). I can't tell you how much this raised my spirits.

So, MASQUE is in its final stretch. I should hear from Bruno in a couple of days. Hopefully, he'll like it and the changes will be minimal. And in case you're wondering...is it a good movie?

I hope so.

JBK