The day began with a text message from MIKE STABILE of Naked Sword/GayPornBlog, asking if we could have lunch somewhere other than our pre-arranged place. I agreed, then hopped in the shower, grumbling about having to soap up wearing the black plastic wristband they'd snapped on me at the Expo the previous day. Apparently, in the past, people would just give their badges to their friends so they could get in, and now we had to wear badges AND wristbands, and once they put it on you, you couldn't take it off until you were finished. Sleeping and showering with it on was incredibly irritating, and I hope the Expo figures out a better way to do it next year.

I took a cab to the Sands Expo and went to the gay section, which was noticeably smaller this year. Someone tapped my shoulder, and it was HELMUTH from Bruno Gmunder, who hugged me warmly. I asked him how he was doing, and he said, "You mean my love life?" lol. He started chattering away about a young man he was dating and hoped that it would work out. "It's complicated," he said. I could tell he was really smitten, his face was beaming.

We confirmed our plans for breakfast at the MGM Grand's Grand Buffet for the next morning, and I continued making my way through the show. I saw the GayVN booth, but it was vacant. Magazines were strewn about, but there was no one behind the table.

I saw the Colt booth and wanted to introduce myself to JOHN RUTHERFORD, but he was busy talking to someone. My phone rang, and it was Mike, ready to meet up for lunch. We headed through the large walkway to the Venetian, and Mike said he wanted to eat somewhere a little less claustrophobic than where we had decided (I don't remember where that was, now). He told me of a restaurant that was very open and were you could see live performers. I had a sneaking suspicion where he was taking me, and sure enough, he led me to Portillo's, where ZACKARY PIERCE, his boyfriend and I had dined the night before. Explaining this to Mike, we walked until we came to Taqueria Canonita, where we got a small table next to the canal where gondoliers sang as they paddled past us. We discussed my putting the Red Devil movies on Naked Sword, and what each of us wanted from the other in doing this. After lunch, we walked together back to the show, where Mike gave me a copy of the new contract, then headed back to his room at the Mirage to do some work.

I went back to the gay corner, where John Rutherford was talking to someone new, so I turned to the Titan booth where I saw Zackary in his black leather chaps with red mesh undies underneath. I asked him what happened to the black mesh ones he was going to wear, and he said he thought the red looked better. I pulled him out of the booth and asked him to let me take a picture of him, and he did.



After I took the picture on my cell phone, someone from Titan came over, took Zack by the arm and gently escorted him back to the booth. Sorry if I got you in trouble, Zack!

Next, I wandered over to the HotHouse table, where STEVEN SCARBOROUGH was busy talking to someone. I grabbed his boyfriend BRETT and chatted for a bit before heading on. I really wanted to say hi to Steven but again, I don't want to interrupt a business conversation.



The Channel 1 booth was next, standing out spectacularly in the corner it had occupied last year.



CHI CHI LARUE was there, chatting with fans and having her picture taken. I started talking to co-owner ROB NOVINGER, who told me that even though the show was smaller this year, they were making more business contacts. He showed me the new Channel 1 catalog which had the Red Devil line in it. About that time, JEFFERSON came over and joined the conversation. More people came up, and Rob excused himself. STEVE WALKER moseyed over and said hello. I looked over at Chi Chi, who was waving around a short black riding crop. When she looked at me, I playfully turned my back toward her, pulled up my shirt and stuck out my fanny. She walked over, swatted my ass with it, then said, "Feel that." I grabbed the crop, which was made of rubber, and was taken by surprise when it began to vibrate violently in my hand! It reminded me of when I was a kid, and had stepped on an electric cord with a bare wire exposed. I yelled in surprise, then dropped the damn thing on the floor. Cheesh laughed and picked it up, then walked off. I said goodbye to Jefferson, then headed over to the Oh Man! Studios booth.



BRUNO RICELLI was doing good business, too, and he invited me to sit behind his table next to him. Whenever someone came to him and talked business with him, he always introduced me to them and encouraged them to talk to me about their money-making operations, too. I am certainly grateful to him. I asked him how MASQUE was selling, and he said it was doing very well, selling more than one of his average titles. He had a large poster of the dvd cover on a pedestal, which I will try to talk him into giving me. He said he wanted me to make UNSPEAKABLE for him in March, but he asked me if we could make it "nasty." He gestured to another poster, one called LORDS OF THE MILKING, which looked very leathery and very S&M-y. Bruno said he thought the market was heading in that direction. Vanilla was being passed by for dirty, nasty sex, he said. I swapped business cards with many a potential source of income that day, and porn star LOGAN ROBBINS and BARRY DAVID from OnTop Wrestling came by to say hello.

TOM from Arena called, asking me if I was ready for dinner. They were wrapping up their booth, he said, but I still had people to talk to. Not John Rutherford or Steven Scarborough, who were still talking to people. I looked over at the Channel 1 booth and saw someone taking a picture of Zackary Pierce and BENJAMIN BRADLEY.



On his way back to the Titan booth, I asked Zack if I had gotten him in trouble. "No," he grinned, then pointed out a few guys he thought were really hot. I told him I probably wouldn't see him again during the show, so we hugged and I left. I called Tom and told him I'd meet him at my hotel, and he said that it was snowing, and the rumor was that the 15 freeway had been shut down.

I headed for the exit, still unable to introduce myself to Rutherford or say hi to Scarborough, and wound my way through the throng in the straight section, glancing at a blonde in short shorts squatting on top of the counter of a booth. I kept moving, when suddenly i heard from my left a male voice saying, "Look! She's peeing!" It's like a road accident or a bomb going off. You don't want to see, but you HAVE to: I turned my head and saw a stream of dark yellow liquid pouring down between the girl's legs onto a napkin placed underneath her on the counter. I shuddered and walked a little more quickly. Outside, at last, I got into a cab, went back to my room at Paris, then changed clothes and called CVK to catch him up on my day. Tom called from downstairs, and I met him at the registration desk.

We headed over to the hotel's buffet where we gorged on everything they had to offer: duck, lamb, beef, scalloped potatoes, marinated mushrooms, sushi, ice cream, fruit, cookies, and creme brulee. The waitress asked us what we wanted to drink. We both said ginger ale, then asked her what brand they served. She laughed and said, "Does it matter?", then like a couple of geeks, we extoled the subtle but significant differences between Canada Dry and Schweppes. "Canada Dry is a drinking ginger ale," I told her, "Schweppes is to be sipped, like a wine, best served wtih two cherries and a shot of maraschino syrup." She laughed again and said she'd bring us Canada Dry. After gulping down several glasses, we left and on the way out, Tom thanked her for getting us Canada Dry. She laughed and said, "It was really Schweppes!" I laughed and said, "I KNEW IT!" And I did.

We walked past all the shops, going into one here and there, then headed back into the casino. Tom played a slot machine here and there, the Double Diamond or Red White and Blue. Suddenly, I saw a Munsters slot machine and sat down. I put a 20 dollar bill in and said, "This is for Yvonne." "Didn't she pass away just recently?" Tom asked. I pulled the handle and played. As I did, winning and losing, we kept trying to channel Lily's help. "C'mon, Yvonne!" I'd yell, "Help us out!" Suddenly, I got a Munster Match-Up game and got some bonus points, but eventually lost the $20. By that time, we were both tired, so we said goodnight and I went back to my room. I had wanted to go up in the Eiffel Tower after dark, but it was too cold.

The next morning, I awoke and found a text message on my phone from Helmuth, asking if we could have breakfast at 10am instead of 9 at the Grand Lux. I replied that yes, that was fine, and noted that he had sent the message at 3:30am! Somebody went to Hustlaball, I guess.

I checked out of the hotel at 8:30, then asked that my bags be held until 12:30. I returned to the Venetian (I should just stay there next time!) and being an hour early, decided to gamble some more on the slots. I played the Alien game, which always robs me, then the Black Cat one, but no luck there, either. Wandering around, I found the Monster Mansion game that I'd played last time I was in Vegas. I inserted 80 dollars and began to play. I did very well, getting to play both the Monster Bonus games and the Lighting Bonus games, and before long, I'd doubled my money. My brain was screaming for me to cash out. I looked at my cell phone for the time, and I still had 30 minutes before breakfast, so I decided to keep playing. Bad mistake. Within 15 minutes, I'd lost it all.

Helmuth was 5 minutes late meeting me at the Grand Lux, but the line moved quickly, and we were seated right away. Helmuth wanted the breakfast buffet...AND the waiter, who was a cutie named Justin. The buffet was disappointingly small, 1/10th the size of the Grand Buffet at MGM, but Helmuth had wanted to stay close to his hotel. The waiter came by and flirted openly with us. "How's your Homosexual Detection Sense?" Helmuth asked. I blinked at him for a few seconds, then leaned in and replied, "You mean my gaydar?" "Yes," he said.

"Actually, my gaydar sucks, but I can tell our waiter is gay from 3 blocks away with no binoculars," I said. "You like him?" Helmuth smiled bashfully and said, "I think he is cute." "Write your name and number on the ticket," I said, "and your room number at the Mirage."

But Helmuth was too shy, so he passed.

I went back to the hotel, got my bags and car (and a box of Lenotre chocolates for CVK) and headed home, singing along loudly to the GREASE soundtrack. Before I'd left, I'd seen a big ad for the Broadway show THE PRODUCERS, which was coming to the Paris.



"They're going all out," I thought. Then I saw who was starring in it.



It's still Vegas, after all, and will never change.

JBK