HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2007!
Posted by Jett Blakk at 10/27/2007 8:51 AM and is filed under uncategorized 
When the wind whips around your house at night, can you hear something in the breeze? A little moaning, perhaps? Well, if so, then your neighbor is watching their porn too loud! Tell them to turn it down! lol
Last year, I listed some horror movies that I thought the odds were you probably haven't seen, but should. It seemed to be pretty popular, so I'm doing it again this year. Here we go with the 2007 HALLOWEEN 13!
1. ALLIGATOR.
A little girl's father flushes her pet baby alligator down the toilet in a fit of anger. Years later, after feasting on the remains of dead dogs injected with an experimental growth hormone dumped in the sewer by a research corporation, the baby gator has grown into a giant monster, eating anyaone who ventures into the watery tunnels. When its food is cut off, it bursts through the sidewalk, prowling the streets of New York for meals! Starring Robert Forster as the investigating cop who's also concerned with hair loss and written by John Sayles, ALLIGATOR is full of suspense, scares and a good sense of humor. The scene with the alligator in the family pool while a group of boys play pirate is particularly memorable.
2. BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Okay, listen to me right now: forget that piece of shit remake that came out last year! THIS is the one you want! A Canadian horror film shot by Bob Clark, the orginal BC is about a maniac who climbs into a sorority house and begins to call the girls downstairs, talking bizarrely to them. When sister Margot Kidder tells him to fuck off, he declares that he is going to kill them. And kill them them he does, coming down from his hiding place in the attic to dispatch them one by one. Wonderfully shot and acted, with performances by John Saxon, Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Andrea Martin and Art Hindle. You will never forget Margot Kidder in this film, and what happens to her! This is no bullshit...THIS FILM IS SCARY!
3. BLACK SHEEP
An Australian horror-comedy about a young boy scared by his older brother's slaying of his pet sheep. This incident creates a sheep-phobia in the lad, who leaves the farm and returns 15 years later to sell his half to his brother, who is experimenting genetically with the livestock. An animal rights activist steals a container holding one of the mutant lambs, and when he drops it, it escapes and bites him, turning him into a were-sheep. The lamb also bites another sheep, and the mutation spreads to the entire stock, now hungry for human flesh. Exciting, gory and very funny, BLACK SHEEP is a riot not to be missed...and Nathan Meister is cute as a mutton—er, button, too!
4. THE BROOD
Directed by David Cronenberg, THE BROOD is another Canadian horror film about a father trying to get custody of his daughter while her mother, whom he is divorcing, is in an experimental psychotherapy clinic where the director, played by Oliver Reed, encourages his patients to try to physicalize their mental illnesses. Suddenly, some very weird little children are running loose, killing the father's family and friends. When the daughter is kidnapped, can her dad (played by BLACK CHRISTMAS' Art Hindle) save her in time? A very dark and violent look at psychotherapy and the breakdown of the family unit.
5. DEEP RED
Feeling continental? Check out this Italian giallo horror film by Dario Argento. A famous musician sees a celebrity psychic get murdered, but he blocks the image of the killer from his mind. He teams up with a fiesty gal reporter to try to find out the murderer's identtity. They get closer and closer to the killer's secret, but this unseen fiend is determined to keep his secrets hidden, putting the investigating pair on his hit list! Lots of bizarre imagery and a typically confusing Argento plot, but don't let that stop you from seeing this brilliantly scary film. The attack of the puppet is a standout, and there are some very disturbing murders here.
6. HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE
One of the better slasher films, HKYA is similar to HALLOWEEN in that it has characters you care about, takes it time getting going, and is more concerned with building suspense than being a gorefest. A maniac travels the country killing brides about to be married. He comes across Amy, whose fiance is having a bachelor party weekend out of town, so he begins stalking her. She can't convince anyone that she is being followed and watched, not even her ex-boyfriend Marvin, whom she refuses to accept that she still has feelings for. As the killer slashes his way closer to Amy through her acquaintances and friends, will the detective trailing the murderer stop him before he finally gets to Amy? The film has a scene that takes place at a carnival, which inspired my own spookhouse sequence in Falcon Studio's DARE. The film is also notable for Tom Hanks' first movie appearance.
7. KISS OF THE VAMPIRE
Hammer Films was responsible for the renewed interest in gothic horror when they began making films about Dracula and Frankenstein in glorious color with emphasis on women's breasts and rampant sexuality. This little-known film doesn't have Dracula in it, but it's one of their best. A couple honeymooning in a foreign country encounter trouble when their car breaks down. They check into an inn at the nearby village and are soon invited to dinner at the castle of Dr. Ravna. Ravna's grown children seem to take to the couple (they act like they're ready to jump their bones right there and then), and the newlyweds are invited to attend a party the next evening. The husband is drugged, and when he awakes the next morning, no one seems to remember him having a wife. When he seeks help from a local priest, he is informed that Ravna is the leader of a vampire cult, and his wife is the next intended member! Glorious locations, seething undertones of lust, good pacing and direction all add up to a winner in this flick for those looking for something a bit less modern but still in color.
8. THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE
Soaked in atmosphere, this film tells the story of a paranormal psychiatrist who doesn't believe in ghosts, only mindless, directionless spiritual energy. He wants a chance to test his theories, so he decides to rent the Belasko Mansion, a.k.a. "Hell House", for a week. It has the reputation of being the "Mount Everest of haunted houses." He decides to bring along his wife, a mental medium and a physical medium. This last member of the team, played by Roddy McDowall, was part of another team investigating the house many years ago where he was the only survivor. The house is gloomy and oppressive from the get-go, and when strange, dangerous events begin to happen, will the doctor's theories turn out to be correct? Unsettling and spooky, sure to give you the creeps.
9. MURDER PARTY
A very funny, gory film with lots of low-key humor and satire. When parking meter cop Chris finds an invitation to a murder party on Halloween day in the street, the meek man decides to find some excitement and attend. He dresses up as a knight in cardboard armor and goes to the abandoned warehouse where the event is taking place, but once there, he is shocked to discover that it really IS a murder party, and he is the victim! He is tied to a chair while several people prepare to murder him on camera as an exercise in performance art. Lots of goofy characters appear and the blood flies in buckets as the wrong people die. Hysterical.
10. SCARECROWS
When a group of bank robbers in paramilitary garb make their escape by forcing a man and his daughter to fly them out on their plane, they crash into a corn field and take refuge in a deserted farmhouse. As they wander around the farm looking for the bags of money, they are attacked my murderous scarecrows. Very well done and suspenseful, this film had some gore but lots of good performances, too. The gang has to make it through the night. Whoh will survive? And just what ARE the scarecrows?
11. SEVERANCE
Another Aussie horror-comedy, SEVERANCE concerns a group of corporate sales executives going to the woods for a team-building weekend. Once there, they are attacked by a gang of military-types who have a personal grudge against the corporation. Like BLACK SHEEP, this film is very bloody and has lots of humor to it. A couple argue about whether a head severed from the body can still see after its decapitation, and one of them gets a chance to find out. Another exec is chased into a mine field and can only stand by helplessly as the killers and his friends run past him. The gore is outrageous and funny in its own right.
12. TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE
This Italian splatter-fest, also known as BAY OF BLOOD, was directed by horror great Mario Bava. When an old lady is murdered by her husband for her highly desirable bayside property, he is also murdered. The property changes hands rapidly, as each new heir is murdered by the succeeding one in the most bloody and gory of ways imaginable. This movie is thought to have inspired FRIDAY THE 13TH and one or two of the murders are copied outright in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2. You will not believe the ending!
13. ZOMBIE HONEYMOON
I know, I know... with a title that that, the movie HAS to be a junky, trashy, stupid piece of shit, right? WRONG. Wheras most zombie films deal with the outbreak on an apocalyptic level, this one takes the small, personal approach. A pair of newlyweds vacation in a beachhouse so the husband can surf. Lying on the sand, they don't see a strange man walk out of the ocean, only to fall on the husband, hold him down, and vomit black goo into his mouth before collapsing. The husband is taken to the hospital and pronounced dead, only to revive 10 minutes later. The couple return to the beachhouse and make plans for their future. When the wife leaves the next day and returns unexpectedly, she catches her husband in an illicit act: not adultery, but cannibalism, as he chomps away at a jogger in the bathtub. The wife's reaction is the same. She decides to stay, but will she be able to trust him, or will she end up as his next meal? I'd go so far as to call this film a zombie chick flick, as we really care about these two and watch them struggle to keep their relationship alive...even when one of them isn't. Done on a low budget but incredibly effective and emotional, this is the one to watch when you want something that will touch you personally.
Boo!
JBK
Last year, I listed some horror movies that I thought the odds were you probably haven't seen, but should. It seemed to be pretty popular, so I'm doing it again this year. Here we go with the 2007 HALLOWEEN 13!
1. ALLIGATOR.
A little girl's father flushes her pet baby alligator down the toilet in a fit of anger. Years later, after feasting on the remains of dead dogs injected with an experimental growth hormone dumped in the sewer by a research corporation, the baby gator has grown into a giant monster, eating anyaone who ventures into the watery tunnels. When its food is cut off, it bursts through the sidewalk, prowling the streets of New York for meals! Starring Robert Forster as the investigating cop who's also concerned with hair loss and written by John Sayles, ALLIGATOR is full of suspense, scares and a good sense of humor. The scene with the alligator in the family pool while a group of boys play pirate is particularly memorable.
2. BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Okay, listen to me right now: forget that piece of shit remake that came out last year! THIS is the one you want! A Canadian horror film shot by Bob Clark, the orginal BC is about a maniac who climbs into a sorority house and begins to call the girls downstairs, talking bizarrely to them. When sister Margot Kidder tells him to fuck off, he declares that he is going to kill them. And kill them them he does, coming down from his hiding place in the attic to dispatch them one by one. Wonderfully shot and acted, with performances by John Saxon, Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Andrea Martin and Art Hindle. You will never forget Margot Kidder in this film, and what happens to her! This is no bullshit...THIS FILM IS SCARY!
3. BLACK SHEEP
An Australian horror-comedy about a young boy scared by his older brother's slaying of his pet sheep. This incident creates a sheep-phobia in the lad, who leaves the farm and returns 15 years later to sell his half to his brother, who is experimenting genetically with the livestock. An animal rights activist steals a container holding one of the mutant lambs, and when he drops it, it escapes and bites him, turning him into a were-sheep. The lamb also bites another sheep, and the mutation spreads to the entire stock, now hungry for human flesh. Exciting, gory and very funny, BLACK SHEEP is a riot not to be missed...and Nathan Meister is cute as a mutton—er, button, too!
4. THE BROOD
Directed by David Cronenberg, THE BROOD is another Canadian horror film about a father trying to get custody of his daughter while her mother, whom he is divorcing, is in an experimental psychotherapy clinic where the director, played by Oliver Reed, encourages his patients to try to physicalize their mental illnesses. Suddenly, some very weird little children are running loose, killing the father's family and friends. When the daughter is kidnapped, can her dad (played by BLACK CHRISTMAS' Art Hindle) save her in time? A very dark and violent look at psychotherapy and the breakdown of the family unit.
5. DEEP RED
Feeling continental? Check out this Italian giallo horror film by Dario Argento. A famous musician sees a celebrity psychic get murdered, but he blocks the image of the killer from his mind. He teams up with a fiesty gal reporter to try to find out the murderer's identtity. They get closer and closer to the killer's secret, but this unseen fiend is determined to keep his secrets hidden, putting the investigating pair on his hit list! Lots of bizarre imagery and a typically confusing Argento plot, but don't let that stop you from seeing this brilliantly scary film. The attack of the puppet is a standout, and there are some very disturbing murders here.
6. HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE
One of the better slasher films, HKYA is similar to HALLOWEEN in that it has characters you care about, takes it time getting going, and is more concerned with building suspense than being a gorefest. A maniac travels the country killing brides about to be married. He comes across Amy, whose fiance is having a bachelor party weekend out of town, so he begins stalking her. She can't convince anyone that she is being followed and watched, not even her ex-boyfriend Marvin, whom she refuses to accept that she still has feelings for. As the killer slashes his way closer to Amy through her acquaintances and friends, will the detective trailing the murderer stop him before he finally gets to Amy? The film has a scene that takes place at a carnival, which inspired my own spookhouse sequence in Falcon Studio's DARE. The film is also notable for Tom Hanks' first movie appearance.
7. KISS OF THE VAMPIRE
Hammer Films was responsible for the renewed interest in gothic horror when they began making films about Dracula and Frankenstein in glorious color with emphasis on women's breasts and rampant sexuality. This little-known film doesn't have Dracula in it, but it's one of their best. A couple honeymooning in a foreign country encounter trouble when their car breaks down. They check into an inn at the nearby village and are soon invited to dinner at the castle of Dr. Ravna. Ravna's grown children seem to take to the couple (they act like they're ready to jump their bones right there and then), and the newlyweds are invited to attend a party the next evening. The husband is drugged, and when he awakes the next morning, no one seems to remember him having a wife. When he seeks help from a local priest, he is informed that Ravna is the leader of a vampire cult, and his wife is the next intended member! Glorious locations, seething undertones of lust, good pacing and direction all add up to a winner in this flick for those looking for something a bit less modern but still in color.
8. THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE
Soaked in atmosphere, this film tells the story of a paranormal psychiatrist who doesn't believe in ghosts, only mindless, directionless spiritual energy. He wants a chance to test his theories, so he decides to rent the Belasko Mansion, a.k.a. "Hell House", for a week. It has the reputation of being the "Mount Everest of haunted houses." He decides to bring along his wife, a mental medium and a physical medium. This last member of the team, played by Roddy McDowall, was part of another team investigating the house many years ago where he was the only survivor. The house is gloomy and oppressive from the get-go, and when strange, dangerous events begin to happen, will the doctor's theories turn out to be correct? Unsettling and spooky, sure to give you the creeps.
9. MURDER PARTY
A very funny, gory film with lots of low-key humor and satire. When parking meter cop Chris finds an invitation to a murder party on Halloween day in the street, the meek man decides to find some excitement and attend. He dresses up as a knight in cardboard armor and goes to the abandoned warehouse where the event is taking place, but once there, he is shocked to discover that it really IS a murder party, and he is the victim! He is tied to a chair while several people prepare to murder him on camera as an exercise in performance art. Lots of goofy characters appear and the blood flies in buckets as the wrong people die. Hysterical.
10. SCARECROWS
When a group of bank robbers in paramilitary garb make their escape by forcing a man and his daughter to fly them out on their plane, they crash into a corn field and take refuge in a deserted farmhouse. As they wander around the farm looking for the bags of money, they are attacked my murderous scarecrows. Very well done and suspenseful, this film had some gore but lots of good performances, too. The gang has to make it through the night. Whoh will survive? And just what ARE the scarecrows?
11. SEVERANCE
Another Aussie horror-comedy, SEVERANCE concerns a group of corporate sales executives going to the woods for a team-building weekend. Once there, they are attacked by a gang of military-types who have a personal grudge against the corporation. Like BLACK SHEEP, this film is very bloody and has lots of humor to it. A couple argue about whether a head severed from the body can still see after its decapitation, and one of them gets a chance to find out. Another exec is chased into a mine field and can only stand by helplessly as the killers and his friends run past him. The gore is outrageous and funny in its own right.
12. TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE
This Italian splatter-fest, also known as BAY OF BLOOD, was directed by horror great Mario Bava. When an old lady is murdered by her husband for her highly desirable bayside property, he is also murdered. The property changes hands rapidly, as each new heir is murdered by the succeeding one in the most bloody and gory of ways imaginable. This movie is thought to have inspired FRIDAY THE 13TH and one or two of the murders are copied outright in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2. You will not believe the ending!
13. ZOMBIE HONEYMOON
I know, I know... with a title that that, the movie HAS to be a junky, trashy, stupid piece of shit, right? WRONG. Wheras most zombie films deal with the outbreak on an apocalyptic level, this one takes the small, personal approach. A pair of newlyweds vacation in a beachhouse so the husband can surf. Lying on the sand, they don't see a strange man walk out of the ocean, only to fall on the husband, hold him down, and vomit black goo into his mouth before collapsing. The husband is taken to the hospital and pronounced dead, only to revive 10 minutes later. The couple return to the beachhouse and make plans for their future. When the wife leaves the next day and returns unexpectedly, she catches her husband in an illicit act: not adultery, but cannibalism, as he chomps away at a jogger in the bathtub. The wife's reaction is the same. She decides to stay, but will she be able to trust him, or will she end up as his next meal? I'd go so far as to call this film a zombie chick flick, as we really care about these two and watch them struggle to keep their relationship alive...even when one of them isn't. Done on a low budget but incredibly effective and emotional, this is the one to watch when you want something that will touch you personally.
Boo!
JBK
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